Another step away from the story today – for another musical moment.
The relationship between Maddie and I has changed so many times in so many different ways over the nearly 40 years we have known each other. We’ve always managed to stay friends, and even though it has seemed a number of times that we were going to end up together, it’s never quite happened.
Whenever I have been single, and I’ve been struggling – (which given my history of mental health issues has been a lot of times) – I think of Maddie.
She is a lighthouse on my journey. She is my true north. My guiding star.
I’ve also had to watch her go through any number of different relationships herself, sometimes with a level of jealousy – not liking some of the guys she has been with. I’ve known and been introduced to several of them over the years.
I’m honestly always happy for her, but sad for me.
And when I have been at my loneliest, when I’ve needed her the most – because of that artificial distance between us, I couldn’t go to her. I had to go back to the beginning and watch her from a distance.
And cry.
I heard this song in the car on the way home from work one night 4 or 5 years ago, on a night I probably needed her the most I have ever needed her. It broke me.