I’ve been wondering the last couple of weeks whether or not it would be a good idea to just take some time off work, jump on a plane to London and surprise Maddie for her birthday next month.
I’m genuinely in pain since she left for London, and I’m not coping.
The romantic in me wants to just do it. Just unfold my credit card and deal with the cost later. I am missing her terribly, and I’ve not missed her birthday in a long time.
The sensible man in me tells me not to be silly. Stick to my personal values of never interfering with her relationship by dropping a big romantic emotional act upon her.
It’s been a real dilemma.
I’ve decided not to do it – the problem would be that if I did do it, I would suffer just as much when I flew home again.
I had a very deep and personal dream about her last night – we were together for her birthday. It was wonderful, but sad too. It made my decision not to go easier than it might have been.
A week of high excitement, then back home to Australia to suffer again.
Sigh.
I just sit here and wonder if she ever thinks about me on any kind of deeper level.