I’m going to start something new tonight. I want to get away from the ‘downer’ posts that I have written recently, and think of Maddie from a different perspective.
With Maddie still away in London, I’ve definitely been struggling, and have needed to find a new way to relate the positive energy I still have for her. She has been a source of heartache lately with her being so far away, but that’s only a matter of context.
What I have been doing is listening a lot to my “Maddie Playlist” on my phone when travelling to work most days. While a lot of those songs that I keep in that playlist relate to difficult emotions, to listen them in the context of how I feel about her has been massively soothing.
Even relating back to those more difficult emotions, it has helped me centre myself, within myself again.
So I want to write about all of the songs, one by one in that “Maddie Playlist”. Many of them will be songs I’ve attached to previous posts, and that’s okay – they have been placed in the posts to suit how those posts made me feel as I wrote them.
This will be more about the songs themselves and why I keep them in the playlist. Maddie and music have always gone together for me. She was a singer at high school, and I used to love listening to her voice.
Best voice in the world? Maybe not – but the best voice in my world, a voice that always made me feel better.
I hope that bringing together the songs themselves with how I feel about Maddie will help me focus again and feel a little less depressed about her being so far away.
I want everyone to know why those songs are important to me, and why they bring me closer to Maddie.
Sometimes the songs are “me singing to her”. Sometimes they are “her singing to me”. Sometimes they are just songs that grabbed me the first time I heard them. Some are happy, some are sad.
But they are always about Maddie and me.