As I said last time, I wasn’t to see or talk to Maddie again for almost another three years.
I would hear about her from time to time – (our school keeps a great account of what people are doing in their lives) – and I knew she was actually working overseas, so even if I wanted to see her it would have been difficult to organise.
Of course, I did want to see her – but it wasn’t to be.
I also tried to move on with my life without her. It wasn’t easy to reach that point, but I needed to find a way. The Jennifer experience had burnt me last time I tried, but I was determined that I wouldn’t let her colour my view of the world.
I even found myself feeling good about being attracted to and interested in other women. Across the following four years of my university career, there were a number of women who caught my eye, and with whom some progress was made.
There was a girl named Nicole during the first year – she was fun and seemed pretty interested too, but it never got past a few goofy smiles at each other. Then a girl named Fiona popped into my life during the second year – we got along really well, and it seemed like something was actually going to happen, something serious. Until I found out she already had a boyfriend.
That one stung.
In the third year, there was a girl named Shannon. This was an emotional rollercoaster.
Shannon and I really were something. We actually met online initially, but from the moment we met face to face, there was clearly some real chemistry. While we were never sexually intimate in the 6 to 8 months we ended up being together, we would sleep in the same bed together, curled up against each other.
We did all manner of things together. It was going very well.
I hadn’t decided that I loved her, but there were definitely feelings going on inside of me that I hadn’t felt since I met Maddie.
I thought I had finally found someone and something truly special.